Ass-Kicker

Welcome the newest edition to NPR Junkie’s ass kicking machinery:

Holy Crap! Definitely not a stairmaster by any stretch, but boy! A guaranteed workout.

Myspace is the DEVIL

So I recently went back into myspace to check out a coworkers profile. I happen to check out my beloved’s page, and I found something I wasn’t expecting: a comment about him getting “new ass” from an ex.

Fun. This is why I need to stay away from myspace. It’s the DEVIL.

I don’t know if I should be more mad at her, him or me for even looking in the first place.

Semi-drunken debauchery

Last night I had the pleasure of dining with my friends Crystal and Heather (a different Heather from the one I visited today). Take a look at the fun we had:

Apparently, Heather thought something was hysterical.

Me, thoughtfully reviewing Uno strategy

“Are you making fun of my fez?”

Astra, Crystal’s (above) daughter, shakin’ it.

Will’s girlfriend apparently didn’t want to be associated with the crazy people.

Crystal ended up calling Carl later that evening, to ask how his date was going. I was later accused of drunk dialing (although I wasn’t drunk, people) because I couldn’t stop laughing while trying to explain to Carl exactly what we were doing.

We had a good time.

Beautiful!

Meet Emma Grace, Heather and Tim’s new darling child:

I got to meet her today, for the first time. She’s not talking much yet, but she does love to be bounced and thrown in the air (and caught, of course.)

8 little fur coats

I went to visit my good friend Heather today, in PA, and when I came home I found this:

What bad children I have! Notice that one of those plates is a corelle plate, which is said to be virtually indestructible.

Right. Not in this house.

Dang cats! I told them whoever did it I’d make into a very small fur coat. As of yet, no one’s talking. Apparently I don’t have any rats among my children.

Why not to drive like an asshole

My boyfriend was about one minute behind a car accident this morning, on 95 Southbound, near Baltimore. Apparently the driver that was either killed or greviously wounded was thrown from his car after driving over a hundred miles an hour weaving in and out of traffic. Jason told me that he was one of the first people to get out of their cars to see if they could help. He thought that the driver that caused the accident wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.

So the moral of this story, kids, is a) don’t weave in and out of traffic because nowhere is that important that you have to get there THAT QUICKLY and b) wear you’re fucking seatbelt, morons! They’re there for a reason!

Back by popular demand…

Due to the overwhelming response to my absence, I’ve returned! These past two weeks have been a whirlwind of traveling all over the east coast: last week, I visited North Carolina for 3 days, and this week, I was in Connecticut and New York for three days. Next week, I’ll be back to Connecticut and then Ohio. Blech.

However, due to this whirlwind travel tour I’ve been on, I’ve been given the chance to drive some interesting rental cars. Last Friday, for example, I rented a Jeep Liberty, much like my friend Del has. On my way out of the rental lot, I tried rolling my window down, to find out that Jeep decided not to install window buttons. I looked all OVER the left hand side, on the drivers door. The poor lot guard must have thought I was possessed, I kept jabbing at the door, and couldn’t get the window down. The guard finally opened my door for me, telling me that the window buttons were on the right hand console.

What car does that? What car, other than a Jeep Liberty, PT cruiser and (I’ve heard) Toyota Celica’s put their buttons on the right hand side?

ARRHG!