MTVs newest idea: Pimp My Dog

Found today while procuring kibble for the furry members of the Cat Ranch:

Chocolate Covered Grossness

This is proof that chocolate does NOT, in fact, go well with everything.  This is almost as gross as salmon cream cheese on cinnamon raisin toast.

Taters at Sea

HA HA!  My newest edition to the Tater Temple:

The NPR Junky Housing Establishment (otherwise known as the Cat Ranch) proudly welcomes Pirate Tater to our ever growing numbers.

Warning: Office Boredom Ahead

Witness the results when NPR Buddy and I are both in-house and bored, at the same time.

I received the following over my cube wall from NPR Buddy after reading a funny email from my manager:

And the plane details:

The inside of the first plane read “My comp is crashing/So am I/I want Starbucks/I want vacation.”  So, I decided to take pity on him and send NPR Buddy on a cruise:

The HMS Screwball is now prominently displayed on NPR Buddy’s cube wall.

Golden Girls’ Retreat

Last weekend, I attended a client meeting in Orlando where it seemed Rose from the Golden Girls had decorated my hotel room:

I can confirm that all the rooms looked like this.  The rest of the hotel was just lovely, though. 

Lactose Induced Irony

Found while on a US Air flight back from Somewhere, USA:

Perhaps “Non-Dairy” means something different to these people. I’m just sayin’…

*Sorry about the poor quality of the image, y’all*

Nothing better….

There is nothing so nice as asking a friend to cheer you up and tell you about their office and receving a video guided tour of their office via email moments later.  That was the coolest thing I’ve seen all week.

Pants-Off Excitement

Warning: this site is probably NSFW.

NPR Buddy and I were goofing off with his new TV tonight and we stumbled across this show.

This is the BEST. SHOW. EVER.  We could only stomach watching two contestants, but the second guy, De De, blew my mind with his amazing chicken-like movements.

I have NEVER seen anything like this, and am serious in my newfound great love for Pants-Off Dance-Off.  NPR Buddy and I wholeheartedly agree that women are probably much better at this (and more fun to look at) than men.  But wow.  What a concept!  When a site proclaims “Think of the Pants-Off Dance-Off Hall of Fame as Valhalla for naked weirdos.” you KNOW you’re in for a good time.

Will wonders never cease

Remember the Lost Boy?  He’s back.  The following email was received today:

Hey NPR Junky,

It’s the Lost Boy, we dated last May.  I just wanted to let you know that there isn’t a week that has gone by that I don’t think of you.  I really miss you.  I’m sorry you felt the way you did about me and how things turned out.  I have to admit that I was surprised that your voice mail said to not call you anymore.  I was hurt, but I’ve since healed.  If there was ever someone that I really felt a connection with it was you.  I loved you with all that I had in me, and I guess it wasn’t enough, I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, but I gave all that I had.  I hope things are going well for you and that you are enjoying life.  I’m trying, but I haven’t dated anyone since we broke up.  Things are well with my school, and my construction job.  I guess you are still flying all over the country visiting sites?  I still think of the most incredible weekend we had in SC.  It will live with me the rest of my life.  I don’t think I could ever have that great of time again.  Well I won’t hold you up, I’m sure you are very busy.  If you feel the need I’d love to hear from you and to hear how things are going.  I’m half afraid of the e-mail I might get back, please don’t be mad.  I’m just trying to mend a friendship/relationship that I really miss.  Keep on living life with no regrets.

The Lost Boy

Yep.  Good lord and butter, people.  Sometimes there really are no words.  (And I mean this in a “he has a very fragile grasp on reality” kind of way.  The THA’s status as my steady sweetie is not in jeopardy here, by any stretch.)

Tuesday Randomness

• I’m in Wichita, Kansas.  If you want to know how you GET to Wichita, Kansas without driving directly there, I will tell you: You take a flight from Philly to Denver, and then a flight from Denver to Wichita.  And all told, that is a full 8 hours of flying and waiting.  All of this for three hours of working in Wichita.  And that, dear readers, is the story of my work life.
• If you ever think to yourself “Let me go to Origins and see if someone will want to play with makeup on my face” STOP YOURSELF.  I had that very same thought today, and the results were disasterous.  Girls with blue eyes should NOT use brown eyeliner, whatever anyone says.  I do not wear foundation for a reason, and that reason has just been reaffirmed.  BUT Origins was redeemed when I saw this:

• I visited a Gap for the first time in ages today, and realized what’s been keeping me away from physically entering that store: they are now marketing their clothes towards Amish homeless people.  It’s frightening and disturbing and I couldn’t get away fast enough.  They only things that weren’t hideous, shapeless and without ruffles were mesh panties.
• If you are a woman, and you travel, and you wear eye makeup always always always carry eye makeup remover in your little ziplock baggie.  And never EVER forget your glasses.  I learned this lesson, the hard way, yesterday.  I forgot my glasses on my trip to Wichita by way of Zimbabwe, and then United Airlines lost my luggage.  Apparently my bags wanted to stay in Denver more than they wanted to come with me to Wichita.  (All worked out well, by the way.)